Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Sometimes I feel Invisible...

Not only are many of my diseases invisible; but, I also feel invisible at times. Sometimes the first thing people seem to focus on is my cane or the fact that I am using one of those electric carts at the grocery story. It is at those times I feel the most disable. Sometimes people look at me funny as if I don't belong on the electric cart; they look at me like I'm lazy and I should walk. Yes, I admit it, I'm overweight but I'd give anything not to be riding on the cart. It isn't that I can't make it to the back of the store it is that if I get to the I can't make it back to the front of the store. 

It took me years to accept the fact that I an disabled. I refused to fill out the form for a handicap placard, although to the rest of family it was obvious that I needed it. Apparently, d'Nile isn't just in Egypt. So finally, I put aside my pride and got a handicap placard. I certainly wasn't fooling anyone by not having the placard, and I was over fooling myself. I could couldn't even make it from the sidewalk to the front of  the building. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the Mixed Connective Tissue Disease the made me need the placard; rather, it was my Asthma. Believe it or not Asthma can be very debilitating and disabling. 

The other thing that makes me feel invisible is when you are a patient  in the hospital when you hear the staff discussing you. Suddenly you become the one with the migraine, asthma, etc in room such and such. Suddenly your personhood has become interchangeable with a disease. 

Apparently, I'm not the only one that feels invisible because of my disability. Take a look a the video I found. It really drives the point home and it was filmed half way around the world in Jordan. It is called:

"Look at me not my disability!"

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