Monday, May 28, 2012

Carpe Diem

Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Although at times, I must confess that I have questioned my sanity at least I know that if I keep getting the same result something has to change. Often the thing or in this case the person that needs to change is me. This is a loose record of these changes and of some helps I have found along the way.

As for a bit of background, I'm married with 3 adult children, 2 dog  that I refer to as "the girls", and a cat

Sarai and Sean (her and very significant other) at a Mardi Gras Garden Party

Although I had asthma and a few other things wrong with me, I was in fairly good health. In 2006, while working as a nurse case manager, I had a migraine which left me with some unfortunate side effects; these affected both my short term and long term memory, and some minor muscle issues. However, it majorly impacted my working memory. The migraine also left me unable to work. 

Joshua in wedding attire.

When you loose the ability to work through loss of your health, you loose financial stability, a career, peers at work, your routine, some of your friends, and at least for me part of how I defined myself. 

I am trying to adjust to these changes and not to judge these changes as good or bad, rather just as changes. It is a hard attitude to hold. However, it is the healthy one to have. Most days I'm just not that healthy.

I once told someone that I want to learn to live before I die. I want to learn to enjoy the moments of each day. My goal is to find the joy in living no matter what that life may look like. This a of record of my journey towards living in joy, not in falsehood, or with a Pollyanna type attitude, but rather an attitude based in reality and hope.

Chrissie being silly

I want to learn to seize the seconds, the moments, and as John Keats would say, ...

        "Carpe Diem.Seize the Day!"

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